Tips for Cleaning Up After Sex Gets Messy
You’ve got stains? We’ve got answers.
No matter how fun the sex was, cleaning up after having a romp in the sack can be a real drag. There is nothing more annoying than a giant semen stain in the center of your mattress, or period blood splattered over your sheets like a crime scene. What in the heck are you supposed to do about these stains? How do you wash them? What products do you use? And, crucially, is treating a poop stain different than a semen stain?
These are questions I’m often asked as a sex educator and coach. I know a lot about cleaning sex toys, but I know very little about cleaning sex stains. So, I rounded up a few cleaning experts to get you the skinny on post-coital cleanup.
The first thing to know is that semen is a protein stain.
There are other ingredients in there, but protein is the trickiest bit to clean. If semen has landed on something that can’t be easily thrown in the washing machine—such as a couch cushion or a futon—then you can treat it by hand. “Protein stains are best treated with something like Clorox Urine Remover,» Mary Gagliardi, aka Clorox’s cleaning expert Dr. Laundry, says. «It contains hydrogen peroxide, which is a great way to get rid of protein-based stains on many types of fabrics. First, blot up as much as possible, then spray the stain(s), wait three minutes, and blot up with a damp cloth.”
One more important thing to note (especially if your sheets are shared with other people) is to be wary of bleach when cleaning up cum. Joshua Miller, director of technical training of Rainbow International, a professional restoration and cleaning services company, warns that bleach can set a protein stain like semen into sheets and upholstery. In other words, that stain is sticking around forever now.
After you’re finished having sex, you may want to wash your sheets. However, there are a few things you should know before sticking them in the washing machine.